Wa' gwan?

Hey all. Isn't life strange. Today, at 5.30 I found out that I would be flying to LA in 20 hours, interviewing the cast of Lost and then returning home in time for Sunday nights Triple M. Brilliantly, LBC have let me bunk off the Friday show, to be replaced by the mighty Nick Abbot. Excited is an understatement, but I am also very, very nervous. Partly because one of the people I shall be speaking to is the gorgeous Sun, the woman I plan to marry. She is in one of those pictures up there, see if you can spot her. *




The other pictures are of Duncan Bannatyne, the man I plan to marry, and pops tiniest stars, Upper Street from the superb MTV series, Totally Boyband.* They all came on the wireless show and were good fun. Except Bradley. Who was like well grumpy and stuff. Grr. Dane was surprisingly nice though, and Danny was fun. By the way, they are all standing on a step in that picture. I swear that is true. On my mums life.




Right, I must go. I need to clean some shirts for LA (what a wanker!) then play a good 4 hours of Splinter Cell Double Agent.

You know I must. I really must.

Thank you.

Iain
x


*because this blog site is shit, it doesn't always let me add pics. Sometimes I can add loads, often I can't add any. Today it would only let me add one. What a bellend piece of programming.

And so this is Christmas....

Hello all. I really must do these blogs more often, but I just can't be arsed. The only reason I'm doing one now is because I want to go to bed, but I have to wait 14 minutes for the dishwasher to finish, otherwise the annoying 'dishwasher finished' alarm goes off. That's right, I am a middle class tosser. So what. As I'm typing this, I'm listening to the rubbish Mrs.Doubtfire calling into Clive Bull. Clive, I'm sorry.

Hey, Triple M on Sunday 8th was pretty good. I loved the 15 minute Punjabi special. It was genuinely hilarious. Especially the firework section. What made it even better, was the silly racist cow calling in to say the show, and those 15 minutes in particular, were rubbish. The Sunday night show is my favourite of the week, and recently it's had some moments of true genius. Thanks to everyone who has been contributing.

I've been quite busy recently, and it's about to get busier. As a result, I'm going to have to take some more time off LBC (97.3) - apologies, but it will be worth it. Some of the stuff I'm doing could actually be quite good. Last night, before Triple M, I recorded an appearance on a new Sky One(1) show entitled Popcorn. It could have been awful, but actually it was alright. I'm sure they'll cut most of my stuff out to allow more Terry Jones action, but I don't mind. I made a few funnies, and I'm particularly proud of my 'Bruce Willis with the AIDS' reference, although that will never get shown on TV.

Today (Monday) I bunked off the radio to appear on a new show for UK Gold called 'Now and Then', hosted by Les Dennis. It could have been alright, but actually it was awful. The audience were all about 15 and didn't get any of the references, and I was pretty lousy. I don't do too well on panel shows (anyone who has seen my 2 appearances on They Think It's All Over will know this) but I was especially poor today. I didn't feel comfortable and kind of just shut up and sat there. Never mind. At least I had the day off from talking to mentals on the radio.

Other stuff is happening. I was doing another Weakest Link, but they changed the date so I had to say no. That's pretty cool though, because I would hate to go back and lose this time.

Keep an eye out on Sky Three (3) - I've got a week of shows coming up in November, and it's looking like it might be quite funny. Fingers crossed.

Er, what else. Not too much, but come on you sods, that's enough isn't it? Eh, you cheeky little so and so's.

Peace out bro'.

x

May you be blessed with love.

Anyways, it's Saturday night and I'm waiting for Nick Abbot to begin. Not much has hapened at all, but I always get stroppy emails if I don't update my blog so I feel I ought to say something.

Hmm, well, the wireless show is going well. Last week we had Dennis Locorriere in for music Thursday. That's him up there. No, not that pic, that's Tallulah and her budgie. Anyways, Locorriere is the singer from Dr.Hook, a superb band that I was brought up on. Also my mums favourite singer, after Neil Diamond. He's a really nice bloke and I thoroughly recommend getting either his new album, or at the very least a Dr.Hook greatest hits. It's worth it the entrance fee alone for Sylvia's mother. An all time classic, and man h'es got some voice Also, pop over to www.dennislocorriere.com.

Now, why do I have a pic of Tallulah? Well. she came down to see Celebrity Soup on Friday, but was late and didn't make it in. To be honest, she didn't miss much. It wasn't the greatest script and Nikki didn't come in until later. I think, although I by no means know this, she had split with that young lad who has a massive winkie, Pete I believe he is called. Nikki that is, not Tallulah. It was a slghtly frustrating experience, but not obviously as painful as splitting up with someone you've been out with for 20 minutes.

Tried to get David Hasselhoff on the radio show, but that aint happening. Never mind. We've got Jeff Wayne this coming Thursday, so that's pretty cool.

And that is it. Yes, I know, not a lot going on. Stick with it. It will get better.

You know it will. It really will.

Thank you.

Iain
x

PS Oh yeah, been playing a lot of XBox 360 recently, especially Dead Rising. Fantastic. Dressed my fella up as a tranny and now beating the crap out of the undead. Or are they living dead? I always get confused. Anyways, feel free to add delramos as a friend.

So, I have been well told off by Alice because I haven't updated this blog. Who the fuck is Alice, you may be wondering if you are a fat, obnoxious comedian in a flying hat. Well, she is off the excellent MySpace. So Alice, I dedicate this blog to you. But take heed, nothing has happened so it will be like well dull and stuff.

Anyways, I finally chose my 2000th friend on MySpace. Well, the listeners to the show did. And thanks a lot for choosing that knobend Gram. What a dick. Unfortunately, because I have 50 pages of friends, I am unable to locate him and put him as my number 1 friend. It's a hard knock life, to quote a bubble permed orphan. And a lightweight rap organisation.

Agent CHris has been away for 2 weeks, and in that time I have had 3 producers! To be honest, they were all better than him but contracts and all mean he will be back on Monday. That's right. Bank Holiday Monday. A day famed for being hard work if you do a phone in show because no one calls in. Brilliant. I need to book more days off.

Anyone going to the Notting Hill Carnival? No, me neither. Instead I shall stay in a break the back bone of series 3 of Sliders. Series 2 was superb and in preperation for series 3, Jerry O'Connell has had a haircut, as you can see in the pic of him amd the lovely Sabrina Wells aka Wade Lloyd. Nice.

Celebrity Soup carries on apace. Don't forget you can get your tickets by emailing Bridget, details on www.iainlee.co.uk - and for those fans of weird kids, apparently Varinder AND Pradeep man are coming on September 8th. I don't know if that's true, but that certainly is the rumour in Hollywood.

And there endeth the dullest blog known to mankind. I can only apologise.

You know I can. I really can.

Thank You.

Iain
x

It's Saturday.

I really should be going to look at bathrooms because I am an old man, but I'd rather not so instead I decide to write to you, my pretty ones.

Firstly, very sad news. One of my heroes and one of the sweetest voices in music, Arthur Lee has died. Very sad. I saw him in concert loads, danced with the dude and marvelled at how he came back from the brink of depression, drug abuse, insanity and prison to keep singing his beautiful songs. Anyways, irrelevant to you crazy cats but it's made me a bit low. So, if you have nothing better to, go out and buy a copy of Forever Changes on CD - it's magnificent. I promise you you will love it.

Anyways, last night, I filmed Mastermind. It had been cancelled, then rebooked but at a different time. Lots of messing around which added to my nerves considerably. The other contestants on this minor celebrity special were Bernie Nolan, Jimmy McGovern and Scott Mills, my new nemesis. My specialist subject was The Monkees and I was terrified. Turns out I had no reason to be, I WON WELL EASILY ! I got 26 points, the nearest was Jimmy with I think 19. Scott Mills only got 3, or something. I can't quite remember.

Hey dig this. I think there were 3 Monkees answers I didn't get. I know, terrible. But one of those missing answers was - 'Mendoza' - I kid you not! He's the mad scientist that takes the Monkees musical powers and puts them in his Frankenstein's monster stylee creation. MENDOZA! Watch as I piss myself when I get told the answer.

Anyways, Triple M is back Sunday in it's original format. Some people calling last Sundays presenterless show a disaster. Au contraire. The very fact I was allowed to do it makes it a success of sorts, and I thought it sounded pretty cool. It's a shame the bosses bottled it and made me go back on, but hey, it's a commercial business and maybe it was a bit too avant garde for Galliard Homes.

Hey, that's all. I must go and do that bath thing, then have a doze, then play a bit of Tiger Woods on Xbox 360.

You know I must. I really must.

Thank You.

iain
x

Saturday 29th July 2006

Hello.
Yes, isn't it great to be alive?
NO! ITS SODDING HARD WORK SOMETIMES.
Anyway, enough of my depression, you cats don't need to know about that. Wow. What a busy week it's been. Celebrity Soup was a good un. We had Nikkkkckkcki from Big Brother on and she is so tiny. Like really wee and stuff. The show is on tonight on the E! Entertainment Channel (which is like Sky 155 or something. I dunno) If you miss it, they repeat it loads.
I had 2 photo shoots this week. I look grumpy, scared and lonely in both. You will love them.
Oh yeah, and I've been persuaded that going on Minor Celebrity Mastermind and being humiliated in front of millions of people will be good for me. I don't even get any money. It all goes to charity. Bugger that. Still, I hope that Chinese bird is there. Although I don't understand what James Gallway has to do with it. Very queer. The situation. Not the Gallway. My chosen specialist subject is fictional 60's pop group The Monkees. Unfortunately, I've lost the one key book I was planning to use for my research and I can't find it anywhere. I am so screwed.


A big well done to everybody who became or retained their correspondent statuts on Friday. The new list should go up next week, but I relaly can't be arsed to type it up at the moment so you may have to wait.
Hey, Derek Griffiths was fun this week. Really nice guy. I'm trying to persuade him to release his songs on CD and do a live show. If he does, remember it was my idea and I want a piece of the Griffiths pie. Oh yes.
Last week, I eventually got around to sending Mike Mendozeoff a 'You Fear Iain Lee T-Shirt' - available from www.karlshead.co.uk (nothing to do with me. Promise) I also included this picture of a spotty me with my hand outstretched. I will publish the letter I sent him soon.



Finally, fans of family based bands that find slides and write songs about them will be upset to hear the Trachtenberg Family Slideshow Players gig this coming Wednesday has been cancelled. I don't know why. I am trying to get them to appear on music Thursday, I've even offered them my floor to sleep on, so we shall see. If you don't know who they are, may I suggest you go to www.slideshowplayers.com and view Mountain Trip To Japan (1959) - it's as good as The Beatles. Well, Wings anyway.
You know they are. They really are.
Thank you.
Iainx
ps dont forget the presenterless show on Sunday evening from 10pm. The bosses are cacking themselves to the point of almost ruining it with safety nets, but don't you worry. There will be some good bits. Guaranteed. Sort of.

So THIS is a blog!

Hey you, watcha gonna do?
Now I'm back with the boys again.

Only joking. It's a quote from a Gary Glitter song. Just because he's a nonce, does that mean we can't enjoy his music?

Last night I saw the magical Glen Campbell. For a 70 year old alcoholic, he was pretty amazing. One of his daughters went on stage and padded out the show a bit - the highlight being her singing 'I'm Proud to be the Rhinestone Cowboys Daughter'


Another one of his daughters was in the audience. She was like well fit and stuff. I tried to hunt her down to get a bit of Campbell, but she was unimpressed by my moves. I will never get to find out if her fingers are as dextrous as her pops.

Not much else has been happening really. Celebrity Soup is in it's second week and seems to be going ok. Also, I hear that some people had a great night at The Hen & Chickens on Friday night.

Oh yeah, I've started using capitals now as well. Dig it.

More to follow.

Iain
x